#1-Phone call from a mom I know telling me that her daughter has been upset because Ann doesn't play with her at school anymore, mumbles under her breath when she tries to talk to her, and won't sit with her at lunch. She was calling to ask me if I knew what was going on and if I had any insight.
I get off the phone and interrogate Ann for 20 minutes and cause her to cry because I tend to put all the blame on my kid. When in fact she was standing her ground for some things she doesn't like that this girl is doing. Good for her for making the call. Shame on me for not giving her the benefit of the doubt.
#2.- Ran into the instrumental teacher at school and he mentions something about Ann's lesson the day before. It occurs to me that I didn't ask her anything about her lesson the previous day let alone ask her anything about her day at all.
So glad I make being home after school a priority so I can be here to not ask about their day.
#3. Text from the same mom from #1. It goes like this:
Mom: {Daughter's name} hopes Ann is feeling better.
Me: I didn't know Ann was feeling bad.
Mom: Not bad, sad. But {daughter} doesn't want me to tell you why if Ann didn't tell you herself.
Really? Now, keep in mind Ann was at a piano lesson when this text came so I had to wait an hour before I could ask her what was bothering her at school. Turns out Ann was nervous she lost my flash drive and was afraid she'd be in big trouble when she got home.
Just what I want....my kids to live in fear of me.
#4.- I was helping out at the school during a safety assembly for students in Kindergarten thru 2nd grade. One of the stations was a car seat safety presentation. Did you know that a child needs a booster seat until they are 4 feet 9 inches tall? Guess who is not 4'9" and not in a booster? Yep. That would be Ann.
After all of this I tried to make myself feel better by trying to remember things I did right this week with Ann.
*I taught her how to use the price label scale thingy at the grocery store.
But this week:
*I complimented her singing voice and her writing skills.
*I hugged her a lot.
*I made her eggs for breakfast.
There--do those 4 things cancel out the above 4? We'll never know. But in the meantime it won't hurt to say...
Lord, help me be a better mom to Ann.
You are an amazing mom.
ReplyDeleteThe very fact that you recognize these feelings is proof of that.
But you don't need me to tell you that.
Your five blessings are a testament to that in their daily lives. : )
I received that same phone call once.
I just had to respond that sometimes kids grow apart as they grow up.
It was not received very well. Yikes.
Anyway...hugs from up north. : )
I erased part of Colette's drawing that I didn't like....now that is a winner mom! She was so upset.
ReplyDeleteKids can be so dang sensitive.
I never know if I text my college son too much or too little.
What your kids know and I want my kids to know is that we love them to the core.
I love these kinds of post...that keep it real.
I agree with Billie Jo...you are an amazing Mom. But I assure you, you are not the only one that has experienced things like this. I was sure I did things that would permanently scar my son. FOREVER AND EVER...but, at 27, he seems to be fine and I think kids are resilient!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! Kathleen, you described me to a T! I'm reading this going, wow, someone else does that like I do. LOL
ReplyDeleteJust remember to think of all the positives you do as the wonderful mom you are!! We always tend to beat ourselves up. I think if we continue to learn from our mistakes (there are no perfect parents), we will never fail. Right?
It's Friday! You enjoy your weekend (with a glass of that wine) and family time with your kiddos.
Kathleen you make me feel normal! I always take the other kids' side first...or realize I have no idea how a certain kid's day has gone, or counting the minutes until bedtime (that's normal, right?). You're doing fine!!
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh... I too feel like the worst mom often. Mast year I totally forgot about Nicolas band performance even though he reminded me that morning about it.
ReplyDeleteMoms who devote their lives to their children do not "fail!" They have good days, difficult days, outstanding days, and days with imperfections, just like the rest of humanity. Deliberate mistakes are a rarity with devoted parents. Well developed, happy, successful children - like yours - are the result of hard work and loving care, which always includes days that might not be perfect! Even the Blessed Mother and St. Joseph lost Jesus at the Temple during Passover, and they only had one to care for! xo
ReplyDeleteHi Kathleen! Oh my gosh girl. You are a wonderful parent. Please don't let these things make you feel bad. I have lived and relived in my mind things like this myself, and I know it's crazy...so I can speak from experience.
ReplyDeleteIn all my born days, I would never make phone calls to interrogate parents about why "your kid doesn't like my kid". For Pete's sake, why can't they hash that out themselves? That mom needs a big spoonful of "back off helicopter mom" juice. And you know, maybe Ann likes to have a little life of her own at school.
Just love her. Let her know she's the best girl in the world. She certainly sounds like a smart cookie to me, she'll handle the rest.
I prescribe wine and chocolate and a family movie. Probably not on the same night.
Hugs to you,
Ceil
Kudos to all moms who are really trying to go the extra mile to show their love for their kids. They will grow up to be good people.
ReplyDelete