I have a hidden talent. Want to know what it is?
Beating myself up.
I am really good at it.
I can get really down on myself. It happens a lot. It doesn't take much for me to feel like a complete failure. Most of the time it can be something really small to get me going.
- Forgetting to throw in laundry, leaving a kid without sweatpants for gym class.
- Forgetting to thaw the meat I planned to use for dinner.
- Forgetting a birthday.
( Hmm, that's a lot of forgetting....maybe I should take some ginkgo biloba)
Anyhow, once something like this happens, my entire mood can change. After that, I could take every aspect of my life and tell you how I'm failing at it. I usually don't speak it out loud, but the conversations that take place between me, myself, and I can get really ugly.
One saving grace that really helps me is Contemporary Christian music. Every song speaks to me. Those radio stations are so "positive and uplifting" that you can't help but feel special just because you are a child of God.
That's it.
I don't have to do anything else to make me special.
Of course, the Bible can be another source to help see me through times like this. John 3:16 comes to mind, but I'm not too familiar with bible verses due to the fact I'm Catholic.
(that was a joke--sort of).
The point I am trying to make is, even with all the stuff that can make me feel inferior, I am still special, full of worth, and loved. And so are you. Yes, YOU!
Remember a few weeks ago I spoke about a personal nudge from God? That time when a stranger suggested I read the Divine Mercy Chaplet? Well, guess how many times I've said that prayer since?
Zero. Not one time.
I have visions of God in Heaven throwing His hands up and saying, "Well, I've done all I could do; I give up on this one."
But He doesn't.
And that's good to know.
I am the EXACT same way. You're not alone.
ReplyDeleteI almost dropped my teeth. Beating myself up is a tip-top talent for me. I KNOW WELL those conversations between me, myself and I. Thank you for reminding us of the REMEDY. He doesn't give up on us; indeed it is good to know. I loved this post.
ReplyDeleteKathleen, I do the exact same thing!! Forgetting to wash the sweatpants for gym? You have no idea how many times that happens here. Or hunting for a pair everywhere to find I put Rhett's in Peyton's drawer and thought she had clean ones...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you can add one more thing to your list along with the music...emailing a friend who knows exactly what you are feeling! : )
Kathleen,
ReplyDeleteYou can't get down on yourself. Too many people, including me, look up to you.
Love,
Bobby
So after not being able to comment since I changed my email , now the only way it will let me comment is anonymously . So, chances are it will be me. I will have to remember to sign my name ( forgot on the last post )
ReplyDeleteI love Contemporary Christian music, I listen to Hope FM on my iphone every day and there are two other ones I listen to off my computer Word FM and WJTL .
I cannot imagine why or how you could think negatively . I have said all along how I am amazed at how easy you make things look.
Gosh, who cares if laundry or dinner aren't done or if you're house was messy ( which I know it's not.. no matter what you say! ) What matters is you are raising wonderful children and you are making the world a better place . There's a ton more I could say about this, but I'll save it for another SS night :)
love you
Marianne
Love you Babe'......be strong
ReplyDeleteLove this post! I do the same thing and will...always have.
ReplyDeleteI think your a great mom with a sweet family and I love reading your blog.
He never gives up on us! We women need to be kinder to ourselves and stop beating ourselves up!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Kathleen. I catch myself doing this too (getting caught up in negativity). Music is a great way to lift us out of the doldrums.
ReplyDeleteOh friend, I can so relate to your post! But your words at the end are true...we can't allow those thoughts to outnumber the thoughts of God's goodness and grace! This is a life verse for me: Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Love to you!
ReplyDelete