Thursday, May 7, 2015

Peace Be With You

I met up with a friend of mine this morning to go for a walk.  We picked a place neither one of us was too familiar with.  It was a park that had lots of different walking paths.  There was a beautiful expanse of grassy areas with blooming trees all around.  There were couples walking, joggers jogging, and a landscaper mowing. It was a beautiful spot to enjoy our chat with a side of exercise.

We made a lot of twists and turns but after a while we realized we couldn't seem to find our way out of the inner path and access the outer loop.  My friend said, "This path seems like my brain does sometimes."  I laughed and said, "Me too." And to myself I thought, "Only from above would we be able to see how this path is laid out."

Only from above.

You could say this year has been a year of discernment for me.  When school started in September I was in a bit of a tizzy.  Our youngest child started full day school. After being a stay at home mom for 14 years, this was a tough adjustment for me.  I felt I was in a constant "What now?" frame of mind.  I was being inundated with  questions like "What do you do all day?" and that put me into panic mode.  I felt that saying "housework and errands" wasn't a grand enough answer.  I worried about what others thought of me.  I felt that if I didn't reply "Busy" to the "How are you?" question, I must be doing something wrong.

The problem with this was that I was spending too much time worrying and feeling guilty about my life and what to do with it, that I was sucking out all of the joy I had in the here and now.

I was living the exact life I had dreamed for myself and my family, yet I was too stubborn to appreciate it to the fullest.  I started asking God for help.  I kept asking him to show me where he wanted me to be. I thought this prayer would be answered in a classified ad that read:

"Help wanted.  No experience required. Hours from 8:50am-2:30pm.  Time off for snow days and school holidays.  Summers off."

But that never came.  (believe me, I looked)

Slowly, over the last few months I have begun to see that as long as I keep moving forward and keep His plan for me at the top of my to-do list, I am okay.  This takes a conscious effort each and every day.

In other words, Only from Above will my answer come.

This year I started doing some volunteer work in the "education" realm.  Teaching Matthew's religious education class, along with some light tutoring at the elementary school has opened a door I thought was locked for someone like me.  Coming from a medical background, teaching is not my forte.  I can't speak for my students, but for me it has been the biggest blessing, I cannot even tell you.

That's the thing with long as you look to Him, he will lead you in ways you never thought you'd go. But more importantly than solid black and white answers, is the feeling of peace that happens within when you turn your heart, your thoughts, your actions to God.  This, I believe, is the true meaning of peace.  After all, we were taught at a young age that the reason we were created was to Know Him, Love Him, and Serve Him.

He wants us all to have that peace, but it comes - Only From Above.


  1. Hi Kathleen! Our blogs kind of echo each other. You were busy feeling bad about not filling up your days, so you couldn't enjoy them, just like me at the beach.
    I'm so glad you found something that fit you so well! I think as medical people we are used to teaching patients and new hires, so it lends itself well to education. I bet you are an awesome teacher.
    "Only from above". AMEN!!

  2. Kathleen...
    This post is beautiful.
    I love the way you put into words the feelings in your heart.
    And I am so happy for you that you have found what you enjoy and are finding peace.
    Yay you! : )

  3. This is lovely, Kathleen. And something I needed to read today. Thank you

  4. I totally understand what you are saying! When I stopped teaching and started raising my family, I felt guilty, confused, not sure if I was suppose to have a checklist of things I accomplished to show my husband when he walked into the house at night. Here I was home and pregnant, and feeling as though I needed to prove something. And no one put me in that state of mind but myself. I missed out on some of the joy during that chapter in my life. You are spot on when you talk about the direction coming from God is what we are to listen to, be ready for.

    Here's wishing you a beautiful Mother's Day!!