Recently I've been thinking a lot about "fine lines".
I'm at a very easy point in my life right now. I've often said if I could freeze time right now I would. My oldest is 11 and my youngest is 3. PERFECT!! Not yet dealing with teenage angst and not too young for sleepless nights. Ahhh, what could be better? So, I've got myself in this spot where everything seems to be a no-brainer. Feed them, play with them, do homework, be a taxi driver, and love them. Great!
So, am I okay to just sit back and enjoy? Why do I feel guilty about that? Because it seems when I put myself out there, to volunteer or something like that, I end up feeling anxious, moody, grumpy, edgy, and so on and so on. There is no living with me until that "duty" I've signed up for is over. Then afterwards, I'm so glad I did whatever it was that was causing me ( and everyone else ) so much grief! Hence, the "fine line".
I don't have the answer. I guess living a prayerful life is the only way to get the answer. Sometimes I may need to move out of my comfort zone and other times I may have to know my limits and put myself and my family first. Each will have their own rewards.
Today I had the "opportunity" to watch a room full of kids ages 2, 3, and 4. I was so nervous about this that I spent an hour online last night looking up "circle time games" for preschoolers just so I would survive the 2 hours I had to entertain them. It ended up being such a rewarding experience. It was a room full of sweet children who listened, shared, helped, and made me laugh. At the end of our time together, I asked if they were to rate how I did today, would they give me a "thumbs up, thumbs down, or thumbs to the side"?
Half said thumbs to the side, but I did manage to get a couple of thumbs up. I didn't push the ones who didn't answer.....I didn't want to know!
But when I got home today, I got this picture from Jesus.
|Great job today Kathleen!|
PS. Having a bit of anxiety now hoping that no one considers this sacraligious.
P.S. For all of you who read the title and thought I was going to be talking about my face, shame on you!!