Friday, September 7, 2012

The Pre-Preschool Day

Two nights ago Matthew woke up at 3am crying.  He does this occasionally after a bad dream or when it is "too dark".  He climbed into bed with me (Bill was away for work) and fell back to sleep.  I, however, did not.

It finally hit me.  Next week he will start preschool.  My baby.

Eight years ago when I dropped off Billy at preschool with Mary and Tommy in tow I had been so envious of those other moms who were dropping off their youngest child.  They had those two and a half hours of free time.  Alone.  To do whatever they wanted.  It seemed like a dream.

Now here we are and that time has come for me.  Only I'm not looking forward to it nearly as much as I thought I would.  In fact, I'm pretty sad about it.

So, lying there in bed next to Matt, I cried.  I cried because for the first time in 12 years I will be alone.  I cried because, although nothing is absolute, this stage in my life may be over. 

I had to compose myself because when we woke up later that morning we were off to meet his teachers and see his classroom.  He's been very "anti" preschool and held on very tight to my hand.  But with a wonderful, talented, ice-breaker of a teacher's aide, he let go of it.

He walked away from me and it was hard to watch.  I know I should be grateful.  I know I will eventually enjoy those hours by myself.  But it always hurts a little when they need you less and less.

My, how our perspective can change.  Who'd a thunk it? 

So, here are some pictures of the open house.  I figured I might be too busy fumbling with tissues on his first official day on Monday, so I better take pics now.

Afterward we celebrated with a chocolatey treat at Wegman's.

 Stay tuned for more preschool posts.....


  1. Wonderful pictures, Kathleen. You can also celebrate that they need you "less and less." It means that you are doing a great job and that they are becoming independent beings - all due to your good nurturing. Enjoy some moments to reflect and smile at all that you have accomplised! They will be home for activities and dinner before you know it! You are still very much needed - just in different ways and at different times of the day! xo

  2. I know this feeling; oh yes. They have no idea how much we love them, do they?!:)

  3. I totally understand this! I think it's very sad when they don't need you as much, or they need you in a different way, I guess. As the parent of older kids, sometimes , it can be lonely if you don't have something of your own, so.. Always have something of your own that you enjoy, it's so important .. at least that's what I think anyway.

    It's very bittersweet being a mom.I can remember sitting outside preschool in my car crying but I was always so thankful all of them went to school happy and with no tears .
    I still get teary though every first day of school, and my baby is 11 !

  4. What an exciting new adventure for your little guy and for you! I can only imagine how bittersweet it must be!

  5. Oh my!! Little Matt off to pre-k! I hear you, I can only imagine how you feel, but hope you have some words of wisdom for me in a few years :-) great post, great pictures!!

  6. I understand how you feel and I too feel it in other ways. This year my schedule changed and for the first time ever, I was able to take my kids to school on the 1st day. We were all very excited. As I pulled away, a tear rolled down my cheek as I watched them go on their next adventure. Where did the time go? Enjoy it all!

  7. My baby will be off to preschool next fall. I will be a bit sad as well, but I'm certain I"ll enjoy those 2 1/2 hours :)

  8. I understand...I remember those feelings very well.

  9. I relate so well to this, the summer before Allie started first grade, I cried myself to sleep every night because we wouldn't have lunch together anymore! did the same thing with Piper! Sometimes I worry that part of my reason for homeschooling is that I can't bear to be away from my kids for long!